Stop Being Nice & Start Being Real
Having worked with many people over the years in a counselling role, as a tantra teacher, and facilitating many types of groups & trainings, I’ve observed many couples striving valiantly to be ‘nice’ to each other and show their best side to each other, all the time.
Which, when living with another human being, and dealing the myriad ways we annoy each other on a daily basis, is an absolute necessity.
Yet, when it comes to the erotic aspect of our intimate relationship – being ‘nice’ just doesn’t cut it.
‘Being nice’ between the sheets, denies the true depth of our erotic darkness.
In my work with couples. With many, it’s like there is this unspoken agreement to place the darker elements of their erotic desires, into a locked bag and store it in a hidden place, under the house.
Or, it may even be buried deep in the garden somewhere.
When one or both, in the partnership do this, at the least they suppress, at most they suffocate something essential to their connection – that has the potential to bring great aliveness and vitality into their intimate connectedness. Especially, when it is given the freedom, to be fully express within the agreed upon container, the couple has created.
Are you in this place now, where your committed intimate relationship is feeling a little tame, or stale?
Or, your casual lovers, are no longer ‘doing it’ for you?
If you want to bring more aliveness, depth and vitality into your erotic adventures together. It may be time to give each other the permission, to look in those darker places within yourself and each other.
Maybe, when you look, you may see things that at first, your response is “I couldn’t do that’.
Yet, mayebe, just maybe, the very ‘thing’ that you believe you couldn’t do, is exactly what you have to do, to embrace the fullness of your human power and vitality – within the existing intimate partnership you have created.
If you do have the courage to explore this together, and make no mistake it takes courage.
There is a good chance you will be surprised at how good it feels, to express something that has been locked away, or pushed aside, for some time…
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