Tending the Fire of Erotically Passionate Relationships
Keeping sex, pleasure & erotic passion Alive in intimate Committed Relationships
A fire does not start on its own, or keep burning. Without the needed materials for combstion – dry fuel, a spark, oxygen and heat to keep it going – too little or too much of either, risks somethering the flame.
Erotic passion and sexual energy in relationship are similar.
Without the necessary fuel, spark, ongoing erotic heat and oxygen to produce long lasting sexual passion -the erotic flame that once was, will falter, diminshing to such an extent that no amount of fanning will ‘get the fire going again’.
To keep the erotic passion burning in relationship, a clear intent from both parties to tender the fire of passion is essential.
Passionate erotic sexual fire, in along term relationship, does not ‘just happen’. It needs to be tended to. Nurtured & fanned occasionally, with a liberal dose of a flammable material.
How do you do that?
How do people in committed relationships keep the sex alive, when there are so many competing expectations and demands on our lives?
The daily commute takes longer, careers demand more and more of our time and energy, the stresses of paying the mortgage/rent, organising the kids, kids sport and childminding, the demands of elderly parents or parents that are demanding, the feeling of not being supported, understood or appreciated in our relationship.
Not to mention the exhaustion of all this coming together at the end of another day, with so many obligations, commitments and the relentless demands of being a partner and/or parent-‘and now you want MORE of me!
Something that gave us so much pleasure(and still can) when we were single and in the beginning, has now transformed into being another pressure filled, stress causing, performance demanding obligation, that is hard to differentiate from all the other demands on my being.
Many ask themselves. Is this really what monogamy looks & feels like?
Is this it?
If you do not start talking, talking risks, being more real & honest with yourself and each other, and making the effort to make sex worthwhile again. Then yes, this is it.